they tell me to rest my head & just relx for once they understand the expectations I have to meet so they see something in me that I don't because only they could calm me down when I feel Im going crazy in my own mind, I make things far from good whoever said over thinking was blessing didn't think about it long enough to label it a cursed blessing you see I push those I mean the world to away just because I can't cope with life for a day & would you label emotional if i told you I cried today ? the truth is beautiful so how can I not look at myself different when I hear it maybe things are suppose to be this way maybe I'm suppose to be alone maybe Im suppose search for something much deeper in this world but as for now I have to learn to smile and be patient just accept things as they are instead of building a false reality and get mad at the harsh results why lie I'm bi polar i wrote this while seeing my life flash before eyes meaning I was thinking about suicide but I can't give up I'm to proud of myself i HAVE A purpose & that purpose is to make my dreams come true & outshine each & everyone of you that said I'll never be nothing in this world how does this smile on my face look ? pardon my aggression I'm just upset with myself out here trying to help everybody but the most important person in my life MYSELF Im kick my feet up chill out & stop being miserable for once I can't hide these tears no more & fuck my reputation as a good person all it ever did was make me believe I was OK when I really wasn't maybe its my insecurities or my self doubt but as for now I'm going where happiness dwells which is my heart because I can't stand the lies the voices in my head tell…………………. AOR