life update.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm ALONE & by the way things are going I'll end up alone till I figure things out & make this chair into a thrown. I just want to live up to my expectations but sometimes I'm restless, depressed, sidetracked on life & shit. It's real hard to cope with lost love these days I tried to make things work but it just wasn't the same and whats even more crazy I still feel she'll be the one I take to my new home but people don't change I learned the hard way, How about you put the fuckin phone down & look yourself & the mirror & see what you've become yeah the same person I saved you from ! We can argue every day & night we both want to be right but I can't go on knowing your someone else while my back is turned & your bestfriend is just nothing but trouble I knew from the moment I met her she was nothing but a lost soul trying to cover up her pain with materialistic things that don't cover the ugly soul of hers. NEVER said I was perfect but I'm different from any GUY in this world. I try & make few things better by adding my input when in reality I should just let it be I mean life is a lesson so getting a few things wrong isn't bad but I try so hard to be what everyone wants me to be the picture perfect ANGEL OMAR RUELAS but because of those people I WON'T be able to live a normal life! I'll never be in a mutual HAPPY relationship because if people don't like something for me they tell me & It gets to me so bad that I think twice about things that have been solid for awhile do peoples opinion matter ? depends on the people but then again it's MY life ? CONTRADICTION! The whole purpose of leaving to SB is to not only chase my dream but live a new LIFE ! NO opinions from anybody because I'm away from everybody. I'll learn the basic's how to build a strong and loving family in a society where FAMILY isn't family just people you share a house with, I'll learn how to make decisions on my own not that I don't know how I just listen to the elderly more aka my mother. I've been training for 21 years I'm ready to fuck up life.